The headline is currently slightly misleading - Denmark are number two happiest nation in the world… behind Finland (and ahead of Norway and Iceland). But the thing they share with the Finns (see Pasi Sahlberg’s work), and probably the explanation behind it, is the way that both country’s educational systems (indeed all the Nordic ones) try to explicitly teach empathy to their schoolchildren, at the most formative ages.

This piece from Healthy Food House begins to open out the phenomenon.

The book The Danish Way of Parenting, by Iben Sandahl, a Danish psychotherapist, educator, and Jessica Alexander, an American author, and psychologist, explains the real reason and the secret behind the happiness of the Danes.

Apparently, it is all to do with their upbringing, and it is actually a cycle that repeats itself: Danish parents raise happy children who grow up to be happy adults who raise happy children.

Since 1993, the Denmark education system has included mandatory classes teaching empathy to their students, and one hour each week, during “Klassens tid,” students aged six to 16 years old are taught empathy lessons.

From an evolutionary standpoint, empathy is a valuable impulse that helps humans survive in groups. The empathy lessons are believed to help them strengthen their relationships, succeed in work, and prevent bullying.

Empathy promotes the growth of leaders, entrepreneurs, and managers, and empathic teenagers are more successful as they are more oriented towards the goals compared to their more narcissistic peers.

This actually makes sense, as successful people don’t operate alone, and we all need the support of others to achieve positive results in life. Students talk about their problems during this hour, personal ones or problems related to school.

Afterward, the teacher and the class discuss the problem to find a solution. A crucial part of the program is that the facilitators and children aren’t judgmental of the emotions they see. They just recognize and respect those sentiments.

Iben Sandahl explains that together, the class tries to respect all aspects and angles and together find a solution. In this way, the problem of the child is acknowledged and heard as a part of a bigger community, which is crucial, as “when you are recognized, you become someone.”

Children also learn the importance of mutual respect, and journalist Carlotta Balena adds that they are not afraid to speak up, because they feel part of a community, they are not alone.

If there are no problems to discuss, children use the time to relax and enjoy hygge, a word which cannot be translated literally, as it is a phenomenon closely related to Danish culture.

Hygge could be defined as “intentionally created intimacy”, and it is a fundamental concept for the Danish sense of well-being.

It creates a calm, friendly, welcome, and warm atmosphere, and it’s also becoming a global phenomenon: Amazon sells more than 900 books on hygge, and Instagram has more than 3 million posts with the hashtag #hygge.

Denmark’s Mary Foundation—named after the country’s crown princess and soon-to-be queen—has been of great support to empathy training in schools, as well.

Its anti-bullying program has been implemented across the country, and it stimulates 3- to 8-year-olds to talk about bullying and teasing and learn to care for each other. The program has positive effects and over 98 percent of teachers say they would recommend it to other institutions.

Sandahl and Alexander found that there are two ways the Danes teach empathy.

The first one is by teaching teamwork. 60% of the tasks done at school already do this, focus on improving the skills and talents of students who are not equally gifted, instead of boosting their competitive skills.

There are no prizes or trophies, and they just motivate students to improve, measured exclusively in relation to themselves.

Alexander also explains that the Danes give a lot of space to children’s free play, as it teaches empathy and negotiation skills. Playing in the country has been considered an educational tool since 1871.

The second way is through collaborative learning, believed by the authors to be the secret to happiness.

Danish society is humane and cohesive, with systems in place to support everyone.

Alexander explained that students are taught that no one can go through life alone. For instance, a child naturally talented in mathematics, won’t go much further without learning to collaborate with their peers, as will need help in other subjects.

Collaborative learning teaches children to communicate and helps them build empathy skills, which are further strengthened by having to be careful about the way the other person receives the information and having to put oneself in their shoes to understand how learning works.

Source for this piece include this report from The Atlantic, and posts from The Danish Way of Parenting website.

It’s notable that Iben Sandahl’s follow-up book to this is called Play the Danish Way: The Benefits of Free Play, which makes a strong case for unstructured free play in Denmark’s societies and schools as the deepest cause of the country’s wellbeing. From her Psychology Today column:

Free, unstructured play should be acknowledged as a natural ingredient in every child’s life. In Denmark play is not seen as some lazy luxury, but as a developmental cornerstone. In play kids are free to explore their full potential and develop their individual talents, without the constraints of adulthood.

Playing outside can seem dangerous, yes, but so many things can happen all the time, and today we spent most of the time protecting our children from bad things. By shielding them from the “natural hazards and accidents” — by not allowing them to use their imagination and play in nature — we risk having children who will be paralyzed and frightened.

Life is about getting skinned knees as well. It is about falling down and getting back up. No matter what, these experiences are small victories, which help shape resilience in a child in the long term. And resilience has been proven to be one of the greatest factors in cultivating more happiness.

By overprotecting our children, there is a risk that we create children who do not dare to use and explore their imagination, fearing that something might happen — without even trying. We have to remember that it is usually our (adults’) perceptions that prevent children from trying things out and playing freely.

More here. And try this explainer video:

How has Denmark become regularly the happiest nation in the world? Empathy classes at school help